SEARCHING FOR OCCULTIST/CURSE BREAKER

WANTED: One man/woman/UNDESIGNATED knowledgeable in the occult and skilled in curses, curse breaking, and curse sealing. More details below.

Within these past few instances, it has been discovered that DESIGNATED RELIC H-44S, or more casually designated as “SATAN’S WALKING STICK” is far more than our specialists can handle. This is due to the recent resignation of our occultist, and though we wish him luck in his promising new career in DESIGNATED REALM H, we’re in a real pickle without him. His seals and curse breaking have been the only thing keeping those abominations from wreaking havoc in our office. Why, just yesterday one of them dragged DESIGNATED OPERATIVE AN-2S-00L under the fridge, and we haven’t heard from him since. Suffice to say, these things are no joke.

As a fair warning, this will be a long, tedious job. Be prepared to strap in for the long haul. Further instruction will be provided on site. There will be a substantial monetary payment for completion of this task, and we may be prepared to offer you a full-time job once all is said and done.

If interested, please meet me at DESIGNATED MEETING PLACE R-.CB this Sunday. Come any time. I’ll be waiting.