Pre-universe Matchbox car, mint condition

Limited edition Elder God Chariot from the Matchbox Eternal series, pre-universe. You may not ever find something else like it, since as far as I know, all the other pre-universe ones have been recalled by Matchbox for anomalous effects.

Statement from the company:

“We did not make these. They don’t even exist and they never have. If you are in possession of one, we will offer you a rebate of $500 for the safe return of the non-existent Eternal Series vehicles. For your own safety, do not look at it or attempt to seduce the Elder God figurine, as some of our customers felt compelled to do. It will literally eat your soul and you will die. Seriously, don’t do it.”
[SOURCE LINK EXPUNGED]

Obviously, this makes them exceedingly rare. I haven’t tried seducing it yet, but if you want to, contact me at [DESTROYED]

I will accept any transmutable currency as I get paid in Elderbux. For just $1.99 a month you can get your own subscription to Elderbux, a crypt-currency (not crypto, that’s different) that rewards you for getting paid.

[SPONSOR DETECTED, ELIMINATING]

[THIS LISTING HAS BEEN CLOSED BY ORDER OF THE GATEKEEPER]