omniversal staff

Fhinsikael Fexton – CEO

Fhinsikael attended the University of Alchemy, until the staff decided he was far too smart and unfairly kicked him out before they could recognize his true genius.

 

Shog Oth – Gatekeeper

GREETINGS, I AM SHOG, THE DESTROYER OF WORLDS, EXISTING SINCE THE BEGINNING OF THE UNIVERSE. I AM THE BEGINNING AND I WILL BE THE END. I EXIST IN EVERY MORTAL COIL, PLANE OF EXISTENCE, AND EVERY PARALLEL UNIVERSE.

I AM THE GATEKEEPER, CONNECTING ALL PLANES OF EXISTENCE IN ORDER TO PROVIDE QUICK DELIVERY AND TO PROVIDE  EXCELLENT SERVICE TO THOSE WHO SEND AND RECEIVE ARTIFACTS, GOODS, AND ANY SERVICE PROVIDED IN THIS SITE.

NOW, KNEEL BEFORE ME. TREMBLE AND DESPAIR.

 

Minerva Kizyna – Cyclopic Curator

Dr. Kizyna didn’t spend six years at Portal Creation School to be called ‘Minnie’, thank you very much.

 

REP-34L – Cybernetic Curator

DESIGNATED REPRESENTATIVE of the Gatekeeper Corporation, or GC. I am designated as GA-5R-34L, but please, feel free to call me REP-34, or just 34.

I act as the designated Seraph of GC, and as such, will be overseeing all member contributions to this site. This may include; job listings, artifact searches, artifact sales, inquires, and requests, among other things. Please contact me at [representative34l@yahoo.com] if you happen to have any questions or concerns involving us, our members, our listings, or what it takes to join us.

Have a pleasant day!

Brother Zwiebelfisch Dark, Esq. – Forgery Specialist

Brother Zwiebelfisch, formerly of the Brotherhood of the Round Letters, is a highly devoted employee currently overseeing Cthulist’s forgery prevention department. He is highly qualified for this job because of personal experience, but he is one of the good guys, he swears, please don’t ask again, this is very rude, please go do something else now.

Zwiebelfisch also has a law degree from the Text-Only Dimension.

Merling the Grandwizerde or Nhil – Deals Warlock

I am reaching out to you from my pocket dimension currently contained within a house strapped on top of the head of the ever-consuming serpent named Steve, just left of the the abyss and underneath the entirety of every single 7-11. I am the Master of Mysticisms, The Hammer To Break All Locks, and the Jester of Doom.

I have many items to trade and sell in the hope of one day going on a holiday to Allmart, the never-ending retail store level of Helle.

If you are in need of my services, or wish worth’s to be evaluated, first ask yourself, is it worth it.

Eternal Overseer – Webmaster

YOU͟ ŚHA̴L̨L N̷ƠT ͟KN̷OW̧ ME.̡ ҉I̷ ÀM B͢EHIND̨ ͏T͡HE UNI͞VER͜S͘E, ̡BI̴SECTIN͠G̨ ͞T̵H̛E͡ P͘LÀN҉E̵S ͢O͡F̨ ̷ĘXI̢ST̵ENC͜E ́A̛T͠ THIŞ EX͞A͞CT́ ͡POĮNT̸ ̢O͘F YOU͠R̛ ̡R̷E͜A̸LI͏TY̛,̀ ̨CA͘USING͏ T̸H͟ES͠E͝ W͡OR̛DS̸ ̷TÓ ͏APPE̶A̶R.

Other Staff

Dread Lord Throgg the Merciless – Customer Service
A Raven – Helpdesk
The 20 Developer Hivemind – Product Development
Thought Cube – Sales
1 Virgin Intern – Daily Sacrifices
1 Chad Employee – Gets Promoted All The Time