New Roommate, advice needed
Hey Y’all, Farmer Jacobs here again with some news since last we spoke.
Y̴̠̘̰̼̏̀̐͝ǫ̸̛̲̯̱̙̩̱̬̫̭̜̙̪̠͊̅̓͘ũ̴̡̨̡̧̧͔̞̯̗̦̤̮͎̫̩͙̗̰̥̪̗͍̭̤̔̄̅̂͋̉͆̽͆̍̏͒̈ ̵̛͓́̃͆̅̒̀̄ş̴̢̙̬̳̹̥̭̳̊̇̇̾̽̍̑̃͛͊̂̀̃͂͝p̵̡̡̞̩͉̯͔͔̼̮̦͇̫̹͓͍͈͖̌͋ͅḛ̶̡̡̝̰͚̪̳͚̲̹͓̖̬̼̟͎̞̀́͗̓̈́̔̅͛̽͆͆̈́̕͜ä̶̧̡̲̝͈̤̮̫̰̝̫̻̝́̏̅̊̂̐̐́͊̇̔͌̇́͒̎͐͘͝͠͝ͅͅͅk̴̡̭͎̜̟̫̖̃̄̆̽́̍̌̒̍̑͑͒̂̈́͐į̷̢̢̧̗̹͇̬͔̹͈̼̺̥͓̲̠̗̠̳̭̟̦̠̗̒̅̓̐̽͐̀͊̿̊̒́̑̅̓͋̒̋́̆̚̚ͅn̴̢̛͉̮͎̟̖̤̝͎̖̤̳͋̐͌̆͌͆͜͝ğ̵̢̧͕̘̖̩͖̰͉̯͖̥͖̹͓̙̫͆̽͆́̾̀̉̚ͅ ̷̛̛̛̙͙̠̣̥̦̙̰̺̄̊̿́̃̏̅̾̑̓̒̃́̓͠ͅo̶̡̟̮͖̣̫̼̣̠̫̻͋̎͌̀͂̀͜f̷̡̱̦̲͍͓͓̙̯̭̤̰̬̤͉̓͂̈́́̔͗͊̒̎̆̈́̃̇̉͊͒̀̈̊ͅ ̴̧̗͓͓̳̠̬͚̓̃͛̓m̶̨̧̢̧̢̝̖̜͈̯̹̹͍̗̼͕͕̺͈̓̔̂ȅ̵̢̛͕̱̻̹̟̳̫̹̜̜̝͔̦̳͇̽͋͛̍͐̔͒̀̈́̇̉̾́͋͊̔̒̈̒̔̐͐̀͘̕͠͠?̸̧͕͉̪͍̩̠̻͉̯̺̖͑̍̎͌͋̊̿̃̽͋̎̏̇̇̏̾͆͋̕̕̕
Yes yes it is about you, will you stop looking over my shoulder, it’s freaking me out.
Go outside or watch some tv, ok? Give me some space you darn vegetable…now where was I, ah yes, so it turns out it weren’t any teenagers or disgruntled villagers knocking at my door last night but my new (self invited) roommate.
Now he is a good fellow and seemed in need of a coffee and a place to stay, and has been here ever since. He sleeps on some hay I’ve spread out for him upstairs, doesn’t make any dishes or mess, mainly keeps to himself. He is however 8ft tall and seems to be an ancient bird-eating being of some sort, currently using my scarecrow as its skeleton or some such nonsense.
Anywho I’m not too darn familiar with living in the same house as a pumpkin king, so if any of you are able to give me some advice that’d be swell.
I’ve learnt so far by reading subtle nuances in body language, like shaking, room-darkening, eye-glowing, growling and other hints of discomfort that (and I’m proud to say it) he isn’t fond of me eating pumpkins – as such I’m now growing roses.
But yeah, if y’all got any books or advice please them to me at either 66 Creepers Lane or 33 Jeepers Street with your return address and I’ll send you a photo or me-self and me roommate, it’s becoming a matter of some urgency as he’s slowly drawing attention to himself, especially after eating Dr. Schrödingers cat.
Anywho, thank y’all again and I’ll keep you posted on any and all updates.
[SENT VIA TEXT TO SPEECH RELAY]
[User submission by Farmer Jacobs]
