avoid scams & fraud

Keeping Safe on Cthulist

It’s very important to us that our users from all dimensions are kept safe on Cthulist. However, we cannot and do not guarantee that anything you buy from listings — or people you sell to — are trustworthy or will not kill, torture, maim or in any other way inflict injury on you and your loved ones.

That’s why it’s important for you, the user, to follow these quick tips to making sure death does not come to claim your soul sooner than you’d like.

Things for sellers to look out for:

1. If a user offers a much larger amount than you request.
2. If a user offers virgin souls in place of regular payment.
3. A user speaks in a tongue inaudible to human ears.
4. The user arrives at your door upon you listing an item or service. Caveat: The Mystical Gatekeepers do this to prevent illegal activity. If they are shimmering around the edges, you are the one at fault — otherwise, you should lock your doors and hide.
5. If the buyer arrives at your door and turns out to be a 300-foot-tall Disciple of Great Cthulhu himself. You were scammed, but you had better hand over the item anyway.
6. Twelve dots around the eyes, indicating a Prodigy of S̗HĄ̘̻̦͕I̩̟̰͕ͅQ̴I̢̯̗̠̗ͅN̯̣̟͚͡G̣̞̝͖̣̝͜ ̸̙T̗͝H̨̦E̵ ͔͈̲͖̘̥͔E̟͠N̘̘̱C͚̼͙Ó̼̬̬̲̠̲ͅM̬̮̫P͟A͏S̢͉͔͖S̶͎̟̘E̦͓̘̜̩͞R̺̠͙̙. They will often wear an eyepatch to conceal this.

 

Things for buyers to be cautious or paranoid about:

1. Free things. They may be infested with cockroaches, fire roaches, voidroaches, or crushing dread.
2. Alex. We’ve tried to stop him, but he’s too powerful.
3. Sellers who communicate in either loud grunts, woeful screams, twelve octaves at once, cRYtyping,,,iM SORRyy!!!, or subtle eyebrow movements.
4. If a seller tells you they will rend you in twain if you do not complete a transaction.
5. If a seller doesn’t say “praise be unto the whispering ones” upon completing a transaction. YOU NEED TO RUN. Or maybe they just don’t know.

Lastly, these tips apply to both buyers and sellers.

1. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.
2. If it sounds too bad to be false, it might be,
3. If it listens to you and you speak nothing, you are in danger.
4. If it.
5. BEWARE OF COYOTES.

HOW TO AVOID SCAMMERS (For Mortals):

While we find some humans tolerable at best, we at Cthulist would like to keep integrity between all inter-dimensional creatures and mortals alike. That being, anyone suspected of scamming feeble minded humans will have their own souls imprisoned and kept in our limbo landscape indefinitely. Here is some advice to avoid any scam:

1. If a soul is not glowing, screaming, or isn’t a living presence, IT IS A FAKE SOUL.
2. Avoid offers that include trans-dimensional shipping costs. Here at Cthulist, Shog Oth is in charge of gatekeeping and shipping and he would NEVER charge you extra for it. These services require no soul cost for our site.
3. NEVER WIRE OR TRANSMUTE MORTAL SOULS. Take our word for it. Don’t do it. PLEASE.
4. DO NOT accept money orders or certified checks. Odds are money orders will not direct themselves into your plane of existence, realm, homeworld, or dimension.
5. While demons are soulfully bound to their oath, avoid making blood pacts. Demons are known to manipulate and lie so PLEASE make sure your soul contract is bound and ironclad BEFORE making a deal. Please consult a paranormal legal before doing so.
6. Transactions are between YOU and the cosmic entity, god, monster, etc that you decide to deal with. No third parties should be involved, especially beings who are known for body possessions, hive minds, having multiple bodies, or possessing multiple souls.
7. Do NOT post your personal information on Cthulist, including your bound name, true name, star coordinates, address, social security, past lives, and bound god and demon contract papers.

CONTACT INFO FOR SOUL SCAMS:

• Mephistopheles, Eighth Circle of Hell. Phone number: 666 ext. 815.
• Styx Soul Fraud Services. Refer to Charon. River Styx. Phone number: 1273 ext. 32. You need a golden drachma to cover contact charges.
• Anubis. Duat Death Dimension. Phone number: none is available, but please refer to the offering link for further details.

CONTACT INFO FOR FALSE CURSED ITEMS:

• Fraud Artifact Complaint Center Address: Third Parallel, Dimension 13-66, Universe 119. Number: 11.6.556 ext. 45688
• Dimension of the Elder God: Seventh Seal, parallel 2. You must have a basic summoning kit and an animal sacrifice to reach service.